This morning, 7 July 2016, at 1000 hrs, I contemplated taking my S&W .380 auto out to my 2000 Chevy Blazer that hasn’t worked since November, sitting in the driver’s seat, and putting that pistol in my mouth.
Clearly, I did not follow through; here I am writing this. I, like many other Veterans with PTSD, have horrible thoughts like this. These thoughts are very real. They are brutally powerful. But we can defeat them. I swore to myself one day back in 2006 after struggling with blackout drinking and thoughts of suicide on nearly a daily basis that I would not only live for my daughter, but also that “if the sons-of-bitches wanted me dead, they would have to come do it themselves – and they had best be heavily armed”.
I know I am not unique. This is why I do what I do with Second Class Citizen now. I know that I am not alone, and I know that there are others out there in various stages of a seemingly endless battle against a relentless foe. Every man we can help is one more opportunity to prove that we are stronger than our PTSD and the “monsters” that created it.
– Operator Six